27. May 2021

First date: conversations to avoid

Let’s say you’ve been talking for several days, weeks, or months with a woman on your favorite dating platform (MySugardaddy, for example) and the time has come for the first date. The time is right but beware of missteps, gentlemen! Your first date is undoubtedly the most important, because it is also the first REAL impression you will send to the person you hope to seduce. It is therefore essential to start on a solid foundation. Here we will discuss the topics of conversation to avoid during a first date.

 Topics of conversation to avoid during your first date

The worst topic of conversation for a first date: EX’s

Let’s start with the most obvious. In case you live on another planet, you should know that talking about your exes while trying to seduce a woman is not a good idea. It’s even less so on your first date. While it may be tempting to go through the motions of talking about your exes when you’re getting to know each other, it won’t do you any favors. Put yourself in the shoes of the person you’re talking to for a moment, and you’ll understand how discouraging this attitude is.

If you are tempted to talk badly about your exes in order to put your date on a pedestal, stop it! It will be perceived as immature. They are exes and you need to move on so you can focus on what really matters: the person in front of you.

In addition to being pointless, dwelling on your past love can make your date doubtful. Talking about your exes too often can make her doubt your desire to commit to a new person.

Finally, showing respect and discretion to your exes is the best thing you can do. It will give your date confidence that there is a future between you for a very simple reason. If your date were to become your ex in the future, then she could count on a man who is respectful right up until the breakup.

 Talking about your problems on the first date: bad idea

When we talk about topics of conversation to avoid on your first date, we want to rule out any conversation that would make you seem like someone you’re not, or that might scare your date. Your problems are one of those topics to avoid.

On a date, and in a relationship in general, everyone is looking for different things. But at the end of the day, what everyone wants is to meet someone who makes them happy. If you want to be the person who makes your date happy, then you’ll quickly realize that your problems don’t make a good conversation piece. The key is to send back an impression of positivity. This will benefit you greatly because your date will then see you as a positive person, willing to move forward and build a future together.

By “problems” we mean of course your real problems. Because sometimes, complicities are created when you realize that your date and you encounter the same small problems in everyday life. For example, if in a conversation about cars you mention that yours never works, this does not make you bitter. On the contrary, maybe your date has problems with hers too.

 Keep your personal and family problems to yourself

Personal and family issues are among the most sensitive topics for a first date. Talk about them with your friends, family members, co-workers, etc. In short, anyone you can think of but your date, or you will bore her to death and embarrass her.

A date is not for discussing your professional problems

A date is a romantic, exclusive and privileged moment between you and the woman you dream of charming. It is therefore an atmosphere in which a conversation about your professional problems is completely inappropriate. In addition to not being a very subtle way of conversing, talking about your professional problems will make you look like a workaholic, unable to get away from your work. Your date won’t be happy to see that you’re thinking about work instead of her!

 Beware of remarks about appearance, First date converstaion to avoid

Even though it may seem harmless to you and you are well-intentioned, you don’t know your date’s complexes, and you may have put your finger on a (very) sensitive subject. So be very careful if you bring up this subject, whether it’s about your appearance or his. It is of course normal and recommended to compliment your date, including on her appearance. But make sure that each compliment can only be interpreted in a positive sense.

Talking about current events: It can be a very slippery slope

As with issues, it all depends on the topic, as current events are an extremely broad topic. It goes without saying that any political topic, near or far, should be avoided. If you want to talk about current events, don’t fall into the same category as the weather, or make interesting connections. For example, explain that you are happy that the weather is fine, that you see butterflies in your garden again (besides, it will give you a poetic side), and then you go on to ask her what she likes to do outside to enjoy the nice weather. As you can see, current events are more of a springboard to other more interesting and in-depth topics of conversation. So be careful to steer the springboard in the right direction so you don’t crash!

Measure your words when discussing the future

On a date, everyone naturally thinks about the future, and where the relationship might take you. You imagine what your life would be like with this person by your side. This is normal, and it’s also a good way to find out if you want to continue or not. But it has to be in your head. You have to be very careful when talking about the future on a date. The next vacation, yes. The number of children you want to have or your wedding plans, no!

So know how to limit yourself. Talk about your parents by telling an anecdote, yes. Talking about your parents by implying that she should meet them, or that they would get along with her, is too much. Then, if your little anecdote about your parents pleases your date and she tells you, for example, that they would get along well, that’s an excellent sign! However, be careful not to dwell on this subject, you are only on your first date.

Similarly, if you mention for example that you would like to live in the country later on, to enjoy the fresh air, the wide open spaces and have a big house, this is a good way to describe part of your personality. But still remember to keep it soft, otherwise your date might think you’re already including it in your long-term plans, and that might scare him or her off.

 Never talk about the date itself with your date

Are you having a good time? Do you like me? These kinds of questions are way too direct, and should never be asked on a date. It will result in an atmosphere of terrible awkwardness, surely translated by a blank in the middle of your conversation. Even in a joking tone, this kind of question or remark about your date will not go over well.

Some personal things should be kept private

If there is an atmosphere of trust on the date, and you feel comfortable with your date, keep in mind that this is only a first date. On the one hand, you don’t want to scare your date by opening up in front of her. On the other hand, you don’t want to expose yourself too much in front of someone who, as nice as she is, has only known you in real life for a few hours.

Get into the game and don’t reveal yourself completely

The dating world is a very strategic game. A big part of that strategy is making yourself desirable. To do this, it is highly recommended that you don’t reveal everything about yourself and your life in general on your first date. Keep some mystery, which will make you all the more sexy. Also, keep some modesty. It all depends on your date, but if you’re going to talk about sexual matters, do so with sensitivity and consideration.

 Observe and listen to your date

Finally, the key to a successful first date is not just an article listing the topics of conversation to avoid. This certainly helps a lot, but the most important thing is the communication between you and your date. Read between the lines, sense her reactions when you talk to her, and then draw the appropriate conclusions. Does she seem bored? Should I make an effort on her behalf? Are we compatible? Will there be a second date? As you can see, on a date, do’s and don’ts, tips and strategies can help. But the most important thing is the human appreciation of a relationship.