First date: what is your compatibility?
The first date is always a journey into the unknown. We can kind of compare it to a naval battle: you advance ships, hold up poles, then see if you hit. This does not mean that the date becomes a moment of pure strategy. On the contrary, as the date progresses, if it goes well, you will naturally know where to “hit” to learn more about your date. In this article, we propose various tips to test your compatibility during and after your first date.
Signs to look out for in him
First of all, we are going to list the tips to apply during a date to try to evaluate your compatibility with the person sitting in front of you. These tips are mostly about your date’s attitude, so that you can correctly identify him/her. It is important to keep these tips in mind throughout the date, but be sure to be your natural yourself as you are there to have a good time first and foremost.
His eyes will tell you a lot about his involvement
It is well known that the eyes are the reflection of the soul. So, to try to analyze your compatibility with your date, paying attention to his looks is a good technique. Look at the way he looks at you, but also the way he looks at other people. For example, compare the way he looks at other women, or how he looks at the waiter or waitress. When you are exchanging a shifty look, it is usually not a good sign. Similarly, if he spends his time looking at other women, this is also a very bad sign. On the contrary, if you feel that he is looking into your eyes when you are chatting, it is probably because he is also looking into your heart.
The way he looks at you is not unrelated to your attitude and appearance. In fact, if you send him the wrong signals during the date and you don’t appear open during the discussion, then don’t be surprised if you lose his attention. To remedy this, beauty and clothes highlighting your natural assets are recommended. The most important thing is of course your behavior towards him. If despite your efforts, you still can’t catch your date’s eye, it’s probably not worth going any further.
Important: Does he use his phone during the date?
For many of us, our phone is an integral part of our lives. However, the date is a moment dedicated only to you and the person in front of you. A moment of exchange and proximity, extremely short compared to the importance it can have on your life. Indeed, after only a few hours you will each decide if you want to continue the adventure or simply leave it at that. Your date may be a businessman or company director with a minister’s schedule, but if he is not able to leave his phone aside during this privileged moment that constitutes your date, it can mean two things:
He may be using his phone on a date because he doesn’t realize he’s being rude, and has too much trouble getting out of his routine. In this case, it is most likely not worth it, because he is not able to choose his priorities (in this case: you).
The second case can be interpreted as a wish not to continue the adventure with you. This technique is very common in the dating world. It consists in using your phone to get off a date with whom you are not compatible.
In any case, using the phone during a date does not bode well for the future of a potential relationship.
Observe his reactions throughout the date
As stated in the introduction, a date can be compared to a simple game, although it is a very serious issue. The principle of the game is to try to explore your personality in its different aspects, and then try to evaluate your date’s reactions to your different character traits. Of course, you need to use a minimum of observation and interpretation to correctly judge your date. Some people are very expansive in their reactions, others less so. Nevertheless, this technique allows you to test your compatibility effectively and widely.
Moreover, by exploring your personality with your date, he will be all the more motivated to do the same. You will learn more about him, and will have a better understanding of him as a person.
Compatibility on the first date: the topics it addresses
Caution! To best evaluate this criterion, you will need to be compassionate. That is to say, you must be able to put yourself in your date’s shoes. Indeed, the subjects he or she discusses can tell you a lot about his or her interests, values, and therefore your compatibility. But be careful to understand his character. Indeed, if he is very introverted, he will tend to let you take charge and the decision of the subjects of discussion. This does not mean that he has nothing to tell you, or that he does not want to connect with you. It’s just his nature to act that way.
On dates, some people also tend to lie to you, in subtle ways. These people are usually “womanizers”, ready to do anything to seduce you, and as quickly as possible.
Philanderers: how to remove the doubt?
There is no magic solution to womanizers, they have always existed and will always exist. However, they all share one quality: they are impatient. The goal of a womanizer is to get you into bed as quickly as possible. With no real feelings of love, he makes one conquest after another to satisfy his ego.
Obviously, no woman wants to be in front of a liar on a date. So be on the lookout for any suspicious behavior on his part aimed at putting you on a pedestal by being too focused on you, and telling you only what you want to hear. Womanizers will come across as smooth talkers, always going your way. So keep in mind that 100% compatibility, besides being rare (and suspicious in this case) does not guarantee a perfect couple. In fact, there are many couples in which small differences are the strength.
Skirt chasers: how to get rid of them?
There is no miracle method to unmask a womanizer, but it is still possible to get rid of them. All you have to do is make him wait, multiply the dates and show that you want to engage in a serious relationship and that it will take time. After only a few dates of sending this kind of signal, the womanizer will retreat.
Finally, don’t be afraid to suspect a womanizer and multiply the number of dates. Keep in mind that a worthwhile man will be just as happy to connect emotionally with you on those first few dates, while a true womanizer will already be thinking about giving up. Plus, stalling a man who wants you will only increase his desire for you tenfold.
Your compatibility on the first date: The balance on your side
In a second time, we will approach a part centered on your person. This part is shorter, because it is easier to evaluate since it is about your feelings and your personal feeling. Far from a guide claiming to teach you how to interpret your feelings, we propose here simple lines of thought.
Objectively: did you have a good time with him?
Simple questions with quick answers: Did you leave the restaurant with a smile on your face? Do you wish the date hadn’t ended? Are you looking forward to the next date? Don’t kid yourself, be honest with yourself, and these answers will speak volumes about the future of your potential relationship.
The feeling doesn’t lie, trust yourself!
“Ressenti” in French, this anglicism is a feeling that is difficult to explain in a concrete way. It comes down to the total of the different feelings you may have about a given person or situation. In the context of a date, the feeling either comes or goes. This instinct or feeling you have about your date is very important. In love, many things cannot be explained, and this is what makes it so romantic. So listen to your feeling, listen to your heart!
Your commonalities will be an important part of your relationship
This is not about making a list or breaking down every point. Use your imagination and think about what your daily life would be like if the person you met were to become a part of it. Your commonalities would be the things you already do that will change little or not at all, but that you will now share with him or her. Think also about the things you do differently, some of which you may like or find inspiring, others which you find irritating. When you think about all this, be sensitive to your emotions, they are what determine your compatibility.
Do you share the same values? The heart of the relationship
Among the common points to evaluate are obviously your values, which are extremely important in a relationship. You may have completely different passions, jobs, lives, but if your core values don’t match, your relationship is most likely doomed to failure.
Do you enjoy his humor? It must make you happy
The place of humor in your life, and the type of humor you enjoy, says a lot about your personality. It’s not just a matter of tolerating someone’s humor, because eventually the one joke too many or their accumulation will break your relationship. A man who makes you laugh is not a bonus, but a necessity.
Every date is unique, because every person is unique. This is the beauty of the world. A love at first sight and a long seduction are not comparable. However, we have drawn here the main lines to evaluate the compatibility between you and your date. You can now start looking for your soul mate with confidence! Happy Hunting!