How to flirt, 5 books that can help you get James Bond levels of charm
5 books to learn how to flirt: the secret of the Sugar Daddy
Today, April 23, 2021, we celebrate World Book Day. On the occasion of this very special event, we would like to offer you a list of books to learn how to flirt, which will be of great help to you if you aspire to become a successful negotiator! The proposed books show a lot with the psychological field and also propose techniques to influence your sugar daddy. This aspect, however, should not be seen as an evil or manipulative. After all, in every area of our lives, a certain degree of influence and negotiation is required. Seduction is no exception from this point of view, but rather, it allows you to know yourself and your interlocutor better. The techniques proposed in the following books, therefore, aim to make you appear more interesting, more confident and allow you to play your cards better.
Books to learn how to flirt: No more Mr. nice guy
One of the books is to learn how to flirt emerges this book written by couples therapist Dr. Robert A. Glover. In this volume, Glover addresses a problem found in many of his patients, and common to many men, which he refers to as the “nice guy syndrome.” The person who has this “syndrome” appears to be a man who will do anything to please his betters, especially in romantic relationships. This person avoids any kind of conflict and is, therefore, always compliant and puts aside his own needs for the happiness of others. Glover points out how such behavior can be destructive in the long run and counterproductive. He explains how a man who knows what he wants and can say no is more attractive and desirable than one who tries to make everyone happy except himself. A successful Sugar Daddy is a very generous man who, however, knows when to say no. In No More Mr. Nice, you’ll find tips for gaining more self-confidence and respect from others.
From author Scott Adams, this book shows the key to success: to try and not be afraid to fail. He explains this by telling his personal story and how he went from being an average employee to becoming one of the most famous cartoonists in the world. In this book we will also find a number of techniques that allows you to use failure to your advantage. These include:
System vs. Goals
Here Adams explains how setting goals is for losers. Rather, it is better to look for a pattern of habits that works for us and helps us improve, little by little, in the desired direction. In this way, success will be a consequence of our actions and not our abstract goal.
Deciding vs Dreaming
There is a big difference between these two verbs. To act is something practical, something real, while dreams are something abstract. As with the system and goals, Adams encourages not waiting for dreams to happen on their own, but taking responsibility. To do this, he suggests asking yourself the following questions: what do you want? What price do you want to pay to get it? After answering these questions you will definitely know what direction to take.
If you ask me where it will be at a specific time on a specific day in the future, I can tell you for sure.
Long-term plans require a lot of organization and discipline. It’s not a matter of planning your future in great detail, but of knowing exactly how things will evolve if you stick to your plan.
Programmed like a robot
There are some people who spend the first 2 hours of the morning trying to figure out what they will need to do during the day. Adams encourages you to adopt habits that will allow you to bypass this unnecessary waste of time. Like a robot, you’ll be action-oriented because you’ll know exactly what you need to do.
Don’t listen to anyone who tells you something is impossible because no one has ever succeeded, rather act like you have to prove everyone wrong.
Many men wish to share their lifestyle with a girl by their side, but often this remains just a dream for fear of not finding the right person or because they don’t know anyone who has done it before. By understanding that dreams only come true if you work to make them happen, and that you need to put your fears aside to succeed in relationships as well, you can become a successful Sugar Daddy.
Books for learning how to flirt: The like switch
Written by Jack Schafer, a former FBI recruiter, this book provides valuable information regarding human behavior. As a special agent for the FBI’s Division’s Behavioral Analysis Program, Dr. Jack Schafer developed revolutionary strategies for understanding people and getting them to trust you in no time. These are essential skills for FBI agents to get the information they need immediately, but they are also extremely useful, when approaching a woman. Often you have little time to get her to trust you, and for that you may find this book a valuable aid.
An example lies in the “friendship formula”, which should consist of four elements: frequency, proximity, duration, intensity.
Frequency and proximity: the more familiar a person thinks you are, the more they will tend to trust you.
Duration: the more time you spend with a person, the easier it will be for them to like you.
Intensity: when you are able to satisfy the needs of the other person, they will be more than happy to humor you.
The book also presents other techniques to figure out if someone is lying, how to use your body language to please others, and how to understand what others are thinking by studying their behavior. In short, a must-have book when you approach dating people you don’t yet know.
Our books for learning how to flirt also include the very famous book by Robert B. Cialdini. This book has had a huge impact for many people around the world and gives us a clear idea, both on how we are influenced by others in everyday life, but also on how we can influence our interlocutors to trust us. In this regard, the author illustrates 6 techniques:
1 – Reciprocity: if you want someone to do something for you, you must first do them a favor in a completely free and seemingly unselfish way. This way the other person will deem you trustworthy and will be more likely to return the favor.
2 – Commitment and consistency: People are more likely to do something when they have made a commitment. For this reason it helps a lot to talk to your friends about your commitments, such as communicating that you are on a diet will help you not to give up. This is also why it is advisable to speak clearly when you are in a relationship, and not leave everything on the vague to avoid any misunderstandings.
3 – Reviews: a technique that has determined the success of many online platforms and can also be applied in the world of feelings. If you show that you are a sociable person and always surrounded by friends, you will be perceived as more attractive. This happens, because we trust the opinion of others, and the more people want to be with you, the more desirable the person you are courting will find you.
4 – Liking: We all tend to say yes to people we like. If we like a person, we attribute many qualities to them such as intelligence and honesty, and we find them attractive. The people we tend to like are essentially those who share our values and hold similar views to our own.
5 – Authority: this principle is evoked primarily through style. People in a position of authority, such as a police officer or doctor, wear a certain type of uniform that immediately commands respect. Even in the dating world, physical appearance should not be left to chance if we want to show a certain degree of authority and earn respect.
6 – Scarcity: the famous technique of “not responding immediately to messages” has a semblance of truth to it. By not responding immediately we show that we have other things to do and that, therefore, our time is precious. In this way, the time spent with you will be much more valuable to the other person.
We top off the list with a book from 1936, it is surprisingly still very valid. Written by Dale Carnegie, it is one of the most famous books in history regarding relationships. In this book we will find both techniques to win in arguments, to be convincing and to make sure that others will like you. How to win friends and influence can easily translate into how to flirt. Lets be honest, making friends involves a little bit flirting.
Among many other things, Carnegie lists six foolproof techniques to make others find you attractive:
1 – Show interest: everyone likes to talk about themselves. The best way to show interest is to ask questions and let the other person express themselves.
2 – Smile: body language plays a key role in relationships, and a smile is the best signal to inspire confidence.
3 – Say his or her name often: our name is the most beautiful sound we can hear, especially when spoken often and by a gallant person.
4 – Listen: don’t just ask questions but listen and continue the conversation in reference to what the other person said.
5 – Talk about the other person’s interests: and you’ll be sure they’ll find the conversation interesting.
6 – Make sincere compliments: don’t give trivial compliments but focus on a detail about the person in front of you.
If you would like more information on how to flirt for men, see here. I dive into what really men do when they flirt so you can have more context to this information.