How to stop self sabotage
What is it?
Before stopping self-sabotage one must first understand what it is. Self-sabotaging is actively destroying or stopping oneself from achieving goals or happiness.
What causes it?
There are a multiple reasons for why someone will self-sabotage themselves. Here are just few of many.
#1 Not understanding self-worth
Not understanding self-worth is one of the major factors. This can be as small as not trusting yourself to taking care of a niece or nephew. Or as big as not feeling worthy of an award that has been bestowed on you. To have self-worth is to have confidence in ones ability and strengths.
#2 Patterns of self-sabotage learned from childhood
Childhood is where we learn how to cope with stimulus. Be it having an argument with a person and start getting defensive and angry, or having trouble showing up to work on time all this plays a factor.
#3 Fear of failure
Fear of failure will stop people from fully achieving the success they want. In extreme cases the fear of failure will make people not want to an interview or throw a game during sports. It can be quite crippling if taken to the extreme.
How to overcome self sabotage
Overcoming self-sabotage is dependant on the reason why someone is self-sabotaging.
To learn self-worth is significantly harder. Having a person believing in me and supporting me when in times of struggle is the best. The hardest part of getting a job is looking for one, in my opinion. Having a person next to you that asks non aggressively how everything is going and always follows up with questions, encourages me to engage in my tasks or searching for jobs.
Breaking patterns on the other hand is significantly harder as I need break habits. These I found best to have post it notes everyone that will force me to stop and think before acting. An example, a not on my computer with my schedule for the day. This make stop and think before I fall into the blackhole of YouTube playlists.
When it comes to fear of failure, I found that having a friend next to me to help overcome it help immensely. For the times where I cannot have a buddy to help, I always found it best to distract myself before starting an interview or such to prevent overthinking, which will stress me out a lot.