17. June 2021

Sugar Baby TikTok: Is TikTok Ruining Sugar Dating?

TikTok has given sugar babies from all over the world a platform to share their thoughts and experiences of their sugar relationships. The hashtags #sugarbabies and #sugarbaby combined equal over 1 BILLION views. But how does the content found there portray the sugar bowl exactly? As a non-TikTok user, I decided to check it out the hype and investigate whether the so-called Sugar Baby TikTok is really destroying the sugar bowl, as some members of the online sugar community are claiming.

 Sugar Baby TikTok: The good, the bad, the ugly

Let’s start with the basics. What is TikTok? A easy answer that most know but let’s still all be on the same page.  TikTok is a video-sharing social networking service. There, users upload videos ranging from 15 seconds to 1 minute, using hashtags exactly like other social media platforms such as Instagram. Unlike Instagram, TikTok has more freedom with hashtags and they do not hide content tagged with hashtags such as #sugarbaby yet. Keyword being yet :). This provides sugar babies with a platform to talk about the sugar lifestyle openly and freely. That is how Sugar Baby TikTok was born.

What can you find in there? Is it really that bad for the sugar bowl? Let’s see what I had stumbled upon:

 Humor

A lot of the content related to sugar dating is more about the humor. There are so many jokes about daddy issues.

Out of all the sugar babies with a talent in making a video that is actually funny is, my personal favorite, Mia Dio. She is from Miami but uses a Russian persona that she describes as “your favorite Russian sugar baby, lifestyle coach, makeup guru, supermodel, now also travel influencer, food connoisseur, and professional S.T.E.M instructor.” S.T.E.M. being “Sugar baby Training Education of Money”

On TikTok, she loves to show off her riches and advise aspiring sugar babies. On one hand, majority of her advice is highly unethical, on the other, it is so absurd and outlandish that it is obviously just for the jokes.

I personally do not think the humorous comment on Sugar Baby TikTok represents any real danger to the world of sugar dating. On the contrary, I think it brings lightness to an otherwise very competitive environment. Besides, as Joan Rivers famously said, “When you can laugh at yourself, no one can ever make a fool of you.” Some real words to live by if I am being honest.

 The sugar lifestyle

Another big portion of the Sugar Baby TikTok content is about the sugar lifestyle. There are a ridiculous amount of videos of sugar babies showing off all the gifts they got, share scenes from their vacations and other experiences they had thanks to their generous sugar daddies.

I only consider this kind of videos a tad dangerous. The kind of danger that hides in them is giving young women the impression that sugaring is an easy job while not showing all the work behind the scenes. In this regard, they are as dangerous as any magazine or social media and I think it is fair to assume that our generation knows most things we see online are a show or enhanced version of real life.

 #Stayathomegirlfriend: the brand new lifestyle

What was very unexpected was stumbling upon a new lifestyle: the stay-at-home girlfriend. It is literally what the name sounds like… videos from women whose job is to stay pretty and happy for their wealthy boyfriend.

This may come to a surprise, but many of these videos are also tagged #sugarbaby

 The school for scammers in sugar baby TikTok

Sugar Baby TikTok also has a dark side, which I will now refer to as The Scammer School. It is filled with videos about how to exploit  and cheat unexperienced sugar daddies. What they teach is not only unethical, but also has no real connection to real sugaring. It is so bad that they alwayw explicitly call sugar daddies “rich old dudes” and use “scamming” and “finessing” as a synonym for “sugaring”.

They do not even try to hide the fact they are just scamming men like lowlifes.

These videos are mostly about:

• How to catch the man’s interest.
• How to make it sound like you are interested in a relationship.
• How to string a man along for as long as possible.
• How to keep postponing the first meet & greet in a way that seems real.
• How to squeeze as much money from him as possible before ghosting him.

They also include false ideas such as “never accept to go on a meet & greet before being paid for it” (which is the complete opposite of common practices due to all the scammers). Others recommend taking an “extra charge” for talking on the phone or video calls. To find others reactions I went to reddit to see if there was any other opinions on this matter. I found a redditor that wrote “I can’t help myself from getting bitter and annoyed. Do girls really think that men are so desperate and lonely that they’ll pay for a phone call??? It’s just ridiculous to see these fake perceptions of the bowl and the woman who think it’s a quick side hustle. Saw a TikTok of a girl who got taken out to dinner with her friend by a SD and he paid for the $xxx meal and in addition gave her $xxx afterwards. Just for the M&G. The entire comment section is flooded with “that’s it???”

 Anything but sugar dating

Essentially, they teach women how to rinse. Rinsing is the act of trying to pass off as a sugar baby in order to get as much money as possible from men without doing anything. Personally, I believe this is a form of scamming but that is up for debate among people in the different communiti. In another post I found in reddit which discussed whether Sugar Baby TikTok is ruining the bowl, they summed up the problem perfectly: “They’re not sugar babies – they’re scam artists. Sugaring is MUTUALLY beneficial. Both parties should be having fun – the terms/boundaries should be clear and honest, everyone’s happy. These girls just want to either 1. lead men on and take advantage of their money by lying about their intentions. 2. want to try to display themselves as “so desirable” men will pay them for absolutely no reason. Its bull####.”

These videos offers the appearance that most sugar daddies are after a platonic sugar baby and would be satisfied to pay for pictures, messages and calls. Although this kind of sugar arrangements does exist, it is a small exception, not an overall rule. That being said, this misrepresentation of sugar relationships will get minors counting the days to their 18th birthday or think about getting a fake ID, making these tips extremely dangerous. Some experienced sugar babies have speculated that TikTokers that spread this distorted image of sugar dating are actually not sugar babies and just cash in from TikTok itself, not sugaring.

Thankfully, there are TikTokers dedicated to creating an accurate picture of the reality of sugar dating!

 Sugar Baby TikTok and the Sugar Baby School of TikTok

Some experienced TikTok sugar babies do an outstanding job educating their fellow and future sugar babies and women who are thinking about joining the sugar bowl. They share tips on how to dress and do their makeup, how to prepare for a meet & greet, how to stay safe while online and offline, how to talk about money, what to expect and so on. @thehelpfulho is a wonderful example of this. Other users, such as @candiserianna, teach their followers how to use the sugar dating apps properly and smartly.

 Conclusion

The Sugar Baby TikTok trend gives sugar babies from across the globe not only a voice, but a face as well. It is very liberal in respect to hashtags like  #sugardaddy, #sugaring and #sugarbaby are not only allowed but are thriving. To the same extent users are free to use such hashtags, where they can share their own perspective on sugar dating. Causing not only positive but negative feedback as well.

On one side, viral funny videos bring the lifestyle of sugaring to the attention of a wide audience. Many of these people would otherwise have no clue about this lifestyle. TikTok also gives access to real-life stories and safety tips from experienced sugar babies. These videos also normalizes sugaring, making it more appealing and socially accepted.

On the other side, some unethical TikTokers are trying to get more followers and views by selling a fake image of sugaring. They make it sound like it takes no effort and scamming men is an acceptable way to make money. Furthermore, they clearly intentionally neglect to say that sugar dating is all about building and maintaining a mutually beneficial relationship. This is concerning due to many TikTok users are under 18, meaning they are teaching unethical scamming techniques to literal children. Making this kind of Sugar Baby TikTok content is not only misleading, but can also be dangerous.

 Is this the downfall of sugar dating?

Through the grape vine, I have heard many complaints from both sugar daddies and sugar babies regarding TikTok’s effect on the sugar bowl. With the inflow of inexperience sugar babies that think sugar dating and rinsing are essentially the same thing, forcing sugar daddies to change their age range to 21–25+. This is making sugar dating harder on younger sugar babies, but not impossible for them to make a splash. Another redditor makes the point, “being educated, classy, sincere, and emotionally intelligent makes it easy to stand out from the 20-something girls with attitudes who don’t offer much emotional or intellectual value to an SD.“

This may seem grim but there is no reason to lose hope. Sugar Baby TikTok is not (completely) destroying the sugar bowl.